我がネコちゃんズ

うちの嫁は、どっからどう見ても**“しっかり者代表”って感じのタイプ。

家事も仕事もテキパキこなして、冷静沈着。

でもね、そんな嫁にも「ポンコツモード」**が突然発動する瞬間があるんよ。

それはある平日の夜。

晩ご飯を食べ終えて、まったりテレビを見てたときのこと。

嫁が「あ、洗濯モノ取り込まなきゃ〜」と立ち上がったその瞬間――

＼ドンッ！！！／💥

すごい音がリビングに響いた。え、今の何！？って思った次の瞬間…

「いってぇええええ！！！😫💢」という絶叫。

振り返ると、嫁が玄関横の棚に足の小指を強打して、床にしゃがみ込んでた。

その顔がね、もう…

完全にプロレスラーが場外からイスで殴られた時の表情なのよ。

眉間にしわ、口パクパク、足抱えてうずくまる姿はまさに戦場。

オレ「…大丈夫？」って声かけたら、

嫁「う…痛くなんか…ないし！！💢😤」

（いやいや、めっちゃ涙目やん。鼻も赤いし。足の小指も…）

なんか急に謎のツンデレスイッチが入ったらしく、足をさすりながら、

「ほら、全然平気だし？歩けるし？😤」って言いながら、立ち上がったんやけど…。

その歩き方がもうおかしい（笑）

片足をかばってピョコピョコ進む姿が、完全に忍者の早歩きスタイル🏃‍♀️💨。

音も「スッ…スッ…」みたいな、何かを盗みに行く泥棒レベルの静けさw

オレ、思わず吹き出してしまって、

「なにその歩き方（笑）忍びかよww」って言ったら、

嫁「笑うなッ！！💢 これは高度な回避行動なんだよッ！！」

って半ギレしながら笑ってる🤣

しかもその後がまた面白くて。

ずっとリビングで「あ〜マジ腹立つ…棚め…😤」ってブツブツ言ってるのよ。

冷静に見て、ぶつかったのは100％自分の不注意なのに（笑）

で、ついに嫁が立ち上がって…

棚の前に仁王立ちしてこう言った。

「お前、そこに居るならちゃんと名乗れよな！？😡」

「“私は危険地帯です”って書いとけって言ってんの！！」←本気の顔

…棚、無言です。

オレ「え、棚にキレてるの？」

嫁「この棚の角、絶対わざとやってるわ💢」

（家具に陰謀論！？）

そのあと、しばらく嫁は「棚との距離感」について語ってたけど、

途中で自分でも笑いが止まらなくなって、「私ってバカかな」って爆笑しながら氷で小指冷やしてた。

結局その日、嫁の“棚への怒り”は収まらず、

夜には「この角、削っとこかな…」と真剣にヤスリ持ち出そうとしてたのを止めました🤣

---

📝後日談（おまけ）

ちなみに次の日、

嫁が「まだ小指痛い〜💦」って言ってたので、

オレ「棚と和解した？」って聞いたら、

嫁「うん、ちょっと話し合った。角が謝ってきた。」ってドヤ顔。

…嫁、完全にキャラ変してて笑った😂

---

みなさんはどうでしょうか？

“🏠 Tsundere Wife’s Battle with Furniture”

My wife, no matter how you look at her, is the textbook definition of a “put-together” person.

She handles housework and her job with precision, always calm and collected.

But even someone like her has moments when her “klutz mode” suddenly kicks in.

It happened one weekday night.

We’d just finished dinner and were chilling, watching TV.

Out of Oto, my wife stood up, saying, “Oh, I need to bring in the laundry~”

And then—

CRASH!! 💥

A deafening noise echoed through the living room. What the heck was that!?

The next moment…

“OWWWW!!!” 😫💢

I turned around to see my wife crouched on the floor, clutching her foot. She’d slammed her pinky toe into the corner of the shelf by the front door.

Her face? Oh man.

It was exactly like a pro wrestler who just got whacked with a folding chair outside the ring.

Furrowed brows, mouth gaping, clutching her foot like she was in a war zone.

I cautiously asked, “…You okay?”

Her response?

“Ugh… It doesn’t even hurt!!” 💢😤

(Uh-huh, sure. Tears in her eyes, nose all red, and that pinky toe looking rough.)

Suddenly, some weird tsundere switch flipped in her. While rubbing her foot, she snapped,

“Look, I’m totally fine, okay? I can walk!” 😤

She stood up… but her walk? Oh boy.

She was limping, favoring one foot, hopping along like some ninja on a stealth mission 🏃‍♀️💨.

Her steps were so quiet—“swish… swish…”—like a thief sneaking through the night.

I couldn’t help it. I burst out laughing.

“What’s with that walk? You training to be a ninja or something?”

She shot back, “Don’t laugh!! 💢 This is advanced evasion tactics!!”

Half-yelling, half-laughing herself. 🤣

And it only got better.

For the rest of the night, she kept muttering in the living room, “Ugh, so annoying… stupid shelf…” 😤

Like, c’mon, it was 100% her fault for not watching where she was going.

Finally, she stood up, marched over to the shelf, and—get this—stared it down like a samurai.

“You! If you’re gonna stand there, at least introduce yourself!” 😡

“Put a sign on yourself that says ‘Danger Zone’ or something!!”

She was dead serious.

The shelf? Silent.

Me: “Wait, are you yelling at the shelf?”

Her: “This shelf’s corner did it on purpose, I swear!” 💢

(Furniture conspiracy theories, anyone?)

For a while, she went on about “shelf distance management,” but eventually, she couldn’t keep a straight face.

She cracked up, saying, “Am I an idiot or what?” while icing her toe and laughing her head off.

Her “shelf rage” didn’t let up that night, though.

By bedtime, she was legit considering grabbing a file to “shave down that corner.”

I had to step in and stop her. 🤣

📝 Epilogue (Bonus)

The next day, she was still whining, “My toe still hurts~ 💦”

So I teased, “You make peace with the shelf yet?”

She smirked and said, “Yeah, we had a talk. The corner apologized.”

…My wife’s gone full gremlin mode, and I’m dying. 😂

What about you guys?